Are You Stuck In Your Story?

I had a season in my life that seemed like I was living in a sort of "Groundhog Day!" In my mind, the same exact negative chatter and disempowering thoughts seemed to rule every part of my day. It was like I was stuck in my past because, as I saw it, it hadn't really passed. Has that ever happened to you?

I knew there had to be a better way to do life. But I still needed to learn to be more aware and appreciate what was right before me. I had every reason to be happy: an amazing husband, great healthy kids, one-of-a-kind opportunities, and friends and family who loved me, among other blessings. I wished to live out my best version, grateful for the present and hopeful for the future. So I started putting small actions behind that goal. I knew my past was done so I wanted to be done with it.

Then I became aware that life is always in the present. Today is simply the future we wished for a few years ago. When I began to live one day at a time with meaning and joy, the negativity and the anxiety started to fade. It's challenging to crawl out of our comfort zone, -but so worth it!

Some of the things I learned about getting unstuck were things I knew -but wasn't practicing. What we sometimes know is good for us doesn't always travel well from the mind to our heart.

But what if we could embrace our story? Keep the good parts and let go of the rest. After all, it brought us to where we are today and made us the unique person we have become. What if we used our negative experiences as fuel to propel us forward? As our motivation to never go back to where we started. To improve ourselves and learn strategies for better results. How cool would it be to give ourselves a chance in the same measure we so naturally give others?

Getting unstuck was in baby steps for me, yet very slowly, I started to find myself again, -that happy, positive person I used to be. I almost didn't recognize myself at first! I accepted that I did what I knew to do then. I had picked the best options among the ones I had. As Maya Angelou says: "When you know better, you do better." I gave myself some grace just as I gave others. I let go -in slow-motion of the negative thoughts and all the reasons I felt I had failed.

Do I have it all down already? Hardly. Do I still try to practice this? I need to! Does it work? On most days. Why am I telling you this vulnerable part of me? Because, as human beings, we are not as different as we may think. To one extent, we can all get stuck in our old story, a disempowering mindset and negative noise in our mind.

Many of us live in beautiful homes, update or refresh the rooms, and pay attention to anything that needs fixing. -But do we live in a beautiful life? Do we put in the same effort to reflect the beautiful virtues of grace, love, gratitude, and kindness that elevate every part of ourselves in the present -despite our past?

Losing someone you love is the quickest reality check I've received. I have the utmost respect for life and the time I still have. Although some days I stumble, I try to live every day with intention, gratitude, and purpose. Accepting what is, changing what I can, and gaining wisdom in what I can't. -Why? Cause the alternative of staying stuck in my story didn't work out for me. It held me back from gaining clarity on what I wished to keep from my past and what had to go.

The shift to a new paradigm helped me believe in my basic level of good and in who God had created me to be. Thinking and meditating on how God loved me helped to forgive myself and others as I let go of toxic emotions. It was tough, but I could see my story in a new light.

You have a choice too, you know? You don't need to stay stuck in your story if it no longer serves you. Today is a new day. We get another chance to start living in the present again. Make the most of your life!

All my best to you,

Maria A. Mansfield

Author, Women’s Life Coach CLC